Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Bah Humbug!

After a year and a half in this city I finally managed to organise an appointment to score myself a National Insurance number. Easy you'd think in this day and age... ha! Not only did I have to trek all the way to Harlesden today (and isn't THAT the centre of the universe!), I also had to wait 2 hours AFTER my set appointment time before even being summoned.

Now, I'm not bitter... NOOOO, wouldn't dream of it! At least I wasn't until I discovered that they don't have public toilet facilities. Unfortunately, my unsettled and gurgling tummy wasn't having a bar of that - it was waiting for no one. I don't know what's going on in there but my stomach lining is obviously moving house... ouch!!!!

To be honest, I blame Gillian McKeith. I've been eating seeds and dried apricots and since I began my innards have never been the same. 2 days of salad seeds and I've got the equivalent of a 9 month baby bump. Honest! Okay, maybe 8 months but who's counting?

Up unitil an hour ago, all I'd eaten was a banana and pear for brekkie (with the nasty seeds sprinkled on top) and 4 dried apricot pieces. Hardly a feast... but tell that to my stomach muscles! I'd even started the day with the recommended glass of warm water and lemon and later, a herbal tea.. Obviously seeds (or apricots) are the spawn of all evil. They are now nestled in the bin under my desk. Rot in health food hell you little %£^&$!!!
A girl can only try!

Despite being ill because of the health food, I am going to follow the advice from the 'You are What you Eat' book and buy the vitamins and dates that will allegedly set me right. I think I'm on to something actually - they recommend food that is supposed to make you thin and healthy, yet actually maes you bloated, fat and gassy. (Think puffer fish!) THEN when you're howling in pain and are desperate for relief, they recommend another set of super foods to 'set you right'.

Well, I just succomed to a glass of red and a piece of chocolate in the Christmas meeting... that'll set me right. I NEVER eat choccy - but desperate times call for desperate measures!
I'm off to see Ducktastic tonight - If I make it there... it's had some pretty ordinary reviews... but the idea of a duck meandering across the stage is too much to resist. I had a duckling once... until my sister murdered him through overfeeding. Poor 'Little Bloke' - some things are just better done and dusted.

And yes, CHRISTMAS meeting... it's only

Ads and I went to see 'Scrooge' last night. it was the epitomy of 'cheese on toast' pantomine - and I have to say, if it was closer to December I would have loved it. Tommy steele was a hit... amazing stuff. the oldies in the audience LOVED him. I guess for some of them it was like revisiting their childhood.

Right, I'm off to revisit mine... 'Little Bloke here I come!'

It's times like these that I wish I was at home... mum's chicken soup would go down a treat - that and some undivided attention!

My interview with Richard Winsor and Sam Archer is now online - ballet dancers with STYLE and a blazing career ahead of them. I never thought I'd like ballet - but when two hotties, Matthew Bourne and Edwars Scissorhands are involved I'm SOLD. Going, going... gone!!!


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